Friday, September 26, 2014

Recall Notice

Received this email this morning and wanted to share: 
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is
recalling all units manufactured, regardless of
make or year, due to a serious defect in the
primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original
prototype units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect
in all subsequent units. This defect has been
identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-
morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as
it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at
fault for this defect, is providing factory-
authorized repair and service free of charge
to correct this defect. The Repair Technician,
JESUS, has most generously offered to bear
the entire burden of the staggering cost of
these repairs. There is no additional fee
required.The number to call for repair in all
areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected,
please upload your burden of SIN through
the REPENTANCE procedure. Next,
download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect
is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the
B.I.B.L.E.(BEST Instructions Before Leaving
Earth) for further details on the use of these
WARNING: Continuing to operate the
human being unit without correction voids
any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit
to dangers and problems too numerous to list,
and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded. For free emergency
service, call on Jesus.

The human being units not
responding to this recall action will have to be
scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not
be permitted to enter Heaven so as to
prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you
for your attention!




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