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RECALL
NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings
(GOD) is
recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of
make or year, due to a serious
defect in the
primary and central component of
the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in
the original
prototype units code named Adam
and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of
the same defect
in all subsequent
units. This defect has been
identified as "Subsequential
Internal Non-
morality," more commonly known as
S.I.N., as
it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms
include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3.
Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent
behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither
liable nor at
fault for this defect, is
providing factory-
authorized repair and service free
of charge
to correct this
defect. The Repair Technician,
JESUS, has most generously offered to
bear
the entire burden of the
staggering cost of
these repairs. There is no
additional fee
required.The number to call for
repair in all
areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected,
please upload your burden of
SIN through
the REPENTANCE
procedure. Next,
download ATONEMENT from the
Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the
heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect
is, Jesus will replace it
with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6.
Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the
B.I.B.L.E.(BEST Instructions Before
Leaving
Earth) for further details on the
use of these
fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the
human being unit without
correction voids
any manufacturer warranties,
exposing the unit
to dangers and problems too
numerous to list,
and will result in the human unit
being
permanently impounded. For free
emergency
service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human
being units not
responding to this recall action
will have to be
scrapped in the furnace. The SIN
defect will not
be permitted to enter Heaven so as
to
prevent contamination of that
facility.
Thank you
for your attention!
-
GOD
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